I do wonder if I’ve done a good job of growing up.  Am I wiser?  Have I contributed?  I ask these questions because it seems the older I get, the less I know.  Someone once said that wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age.  Sometimes age shows up all by itself.  Scary thought!

Truth be told, I do feel wiser than I did in my twenties.  Of course, back then, I knew it all.  I know that I now listen more and speak less.  When I do speak, I speak the truth.  There’s no time for beating around the bush anymore.  Getting to the heart of the matter quickly and succinctly is my aim.

Before I do open my mouth, I try to keep in mind the principle that Don Miguel Ruiz sets forth in his book The Four Agreements.

Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.  Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

I know I am still in the process of growing up.  As long as I am still breathing, this process does not stop.  No matter what our age, we all need to challenge ourselves to keep stretching and growing.  If you catch yourself saying, “I’m too old for that,” cancel the thought.  You are never too old to accomplish the dreams of your heart.  What we lose in terms of our youth, we gain in experience, self-awareness and wisdom.

Are you doubting this?  Here are a few examples that will erase that doubt:

• Anna Mary Robertson (aka Grandma Moses) – At age 76, due to arthritis, she gave up embroidery and began painting.  Over the next three decades of life, she produced over 3,600 paintings and established herself as an icon of American folk art.
• Claire Cook – Thinking about writing a book?  Cook was first published at age 45.  At 50, she walked the red carpet at the Hollywood movie premiere based on her second novel, Must Love Dogs.
• Danny Aiello – Nominated for a Best Supporting Actor Academy Award, Aiello did not begin acting until age 40.
• Colonel Sanders – Restaurant entrepreneur Harland Sanders began the Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise in his sixties.
• Kurt Warner – This two-time NFL Most Valuable Player and Super Bowl Champion didn’t enter the NFL until age 28.
• Al Jarreau – A seven-time Grammy Award winner, Jarreau didn’t release his first album until he was 38.
• Carol Gardner – Finding herself divorced and in debt at age 52, Garnder went on to create Zelda Wisdom, a highly successful, Oregon-based greeting card and gift company.

Those are merely seven examples that should renew your faith and banish that doubt.  There are no limitations in what you can accomplish.  It doesn’t matter if you are young or perhaps a bit beyond young.

Do not wait for what you want to come to you.  Pursue it with all you are.  Keep moving on your path.  Follow your heart…

And never, never surrender your dreams!

A friend recently remarked to me that she was intent on finding her “inner child” and it inspired me to put some focus on that too.  I had never really thought much about the subject before so I did some research and this is what I learned.

We all have an “inner child” because we were all children once.  But exactly who is that little person?  Your inner child is a fun loving, happy, frivolous, joyful, humorous you.  It’s the “you” before it was changed into the sophisticated, mature, serious, and task-oriented you of today.  Remember the old you whose only worry was what flavor ice cream to choose at Baskin Robbins?

Experts say we should embrace our inner child.  Why?  As adults, we obsess too much over little things.  Kids are carefree.  They do stuff they like.  They don’t jam their calendars with meaningless events because it is expected.  Nor do children obsess over calories or go nuts if the house isn’t spotless.  What they do is laugh… a lot.  I mean really laugh, not let out little giggles.  Children roll on the floor letting out big belly laughs.

Children love picnics.  They don’t mind the ants… some have been known to eat them. They are okay with getting dirty. And they know how to play.  It’s spontaneous.  They do not have to pencil it in or figure out what would make them happy.  Just watch a child at play.  It’s exhausting!  They whirl and dig and zoom and jump.  They tumble and skip and hop and twirl.  They always have a grin on their faces.  Why? Because they are experts at squeezing out every ounce of fun in their day.  Then, they can barely wait for the next day to do it all over again.

I now see the benefit in finding my inner child.  As of today, I am resolving to spend more time with people under the age of five.  I want my inner child to resurface and no doubt the wee ones will show me how.  My desire is to be a person who knows how to have fun and play for play’s sake.  I’m going to lighten up, laugh more and not take myself so seriously.

How about it?  You in?  Come on, I double dog dare you!

Bad energy” has a way of making us feel strange and out of sorts.

We live in what can sometimes be perceived as a harsh world and we would all agree that everyone has bad days.  But, battling it out in front of a patient is a far cry from practicing kindness.

Too often, people get caught up in petty disagreements and spend precious time judging others rather than displaying positive attitudes.  I love what Dr. Wayne Dyer says, “It is better to be kind than to be right.”  I try to remind myself of that whenever I feel I am at a crossroad.

We all know about performing acts of kindness, but are we putting that type of behavior into our daily lives?  Perhaps the best way to keep track is to record our acts of kindness.  Many people write in a gratitude journal.  Why not take a minute to also note exactly how many acts of kindness we performed during each twenty-four hour period?

Where do we start?  An easy way is to challenge ourselves to a higher level of awareness of those around us.  We have many opportunities every hour to spread a little kindness.  My favorite place is the supermarket.  I love helping anyone who is struggling with trying to reach an item on a high shelf.  In return, I enjoy the smile of thanks I get for that simple act.  Each action has a reaction.  But even if there were no smile, the act itself  is important.

It’s easy to be kind to a good friend or someone with a warm and outgoing personality.  Do make certain that your challenge also involves those who really could use uplifting.  Years ago, at a place of employment, I encountered a member of the cleaning crew on a daily basis.  I would put on my best smile and say hello only to be ignored day after day.  This went on for a least a month.  I was discouraged but kept pressing on, hoping my smile might at some point be a small encouragement in her day.  My persistence paid off.  I cannot tell you how happy I was when a return grin crossed her face.  I later found out she was the victim of spousal abuse.  No wonder it was difficult for her to smile.  That encounter always served as a reminder to me.  We never know what kind of day someone is having or what kind of situations they are dealing with.

To withhold a compliment is to be unkind.  Remember to praise people and let them know they have a positive effect on you.  If you seek the good in others, you will find it.  Be genuine and make certain the praise comes from your heart.  You might make a list of those you have been meaning to acknowledge.  Each day, send someone on that list a note, an email, or pick up the phone to offer up a sincere tribute to their positive attributes.

If you believe these thoughts and ideas, put them into practice.  Start tracking your positive deeds.  Make sure the energy you are creating is the good kind and know that your kindness campaign will make a difference.

Our natural tendency when that happens is to feel the pain and then eventually move on.  We begin to see it as Shakespeare said.  “What’s done is done.”  The more positive action to take is to pause for awhile and not make that the end.

If we rewind the experience and take heed, we will realize the benefits of failure.  The commencement address given at Harvard in 2008 by J.K. Rowling was aptly titled:  “The Fringe Benefits of Failure and the Importance of Imagination.”  Rowling contends that she failed on an “epic scale” prior to becoming one of the most well known female authors due to her Harry Potter fantasy series.  She is currently ranked as 12^th richest woman in Britain.  During her speech, Rowling professed that “it is impossible to live without failing at something.”

Failure is a part of life.  In his book The Power Of Failure, Dr. Charles C. Manz instructs us to wrap our minds around a new definition of failure.  Manz, the Chaired Professor of Business Leadership at the University of Massachusetts, sees failure as a “short-termed unexpected result that reflects a challenge in progress.”  He goes on to say that failure provides three positive aspects:  “a stepping stone to success, the opportunity for learning and development and an opportunity for creative change and innovation.”

Something about that new spin on the failure concept really appeals to me.  The fact that it is not an ending but “a challenge in progress” makes it sound less like a pitfall and more like a hiccup.  If one decides to adopt that premise and start to embrace the learning lessons inherent in failure, we can begin to see the benefits of which our successful role model J.K. Rowling speaks.

Rowling came to a crossroads in her life when her short lived marriage fell part, creating her role as a lone parent and topping it off with existing at a poverty level just shy of being homeless.  Having hit that very dark period in her life, she turned it around by focusing all her attention on finishing the work that really mattered to her.  She used rock bottom as a platform to redesign her life.

Although I knew nothing of Dr Manz’s book or what Ms. Rowling was going through, I had a mother who was great at doling out parental advice.  During my mourning period over the loss of my potential cheerleading career, she went around chirping in her Pollyanna style, “If at first you don’t succeed, try try again.”  Sound familiar?  No doubt you heard that at home too.  She gave me no peace until I once again signed up for cheerleading tryouts as a sophomore.

The second time around my determination was relentless.  I did things differently.  I recruited a team of friends to try out with me.  I elected myself the leader and called practice every spare minute we had.  We spent hours critiquing our jumps, our lines, our voices.  In fact, we even sewed matching outfits to wear for the tryouts.  When the big day came, we were working at a high confidence level.  Three of the five of us made the eight girl team.  Was I one?  Yes, you bet!

The next time you hit a stumbling block on the path to success, do not fall into negative cannot do thinking.  Look at it as merely a hiccup… a temporary detour to the finish line.  Change your failure definition, focus harder on what you are trying to accomplish and remember those four words your mom kept preaching…try, try, try again.

There are mornings when I arrive in my home office, dressed and ready to pounce on that frog.  Admittedly, there are other days when I kind of dance around it.  Does this ever happen to you?  It’s sitting there in the middle of your work space and you stare at it not wanting to disturb the slimy creature.  Instead, you poke around it, accomplishing a number of mundane items that did not even make the days “to do”  list.  The fact is you cannot get to the darn to do list because his ugliness is parked on it.  Hmmm….maybe a good time for a coffee break or to check out what’s happening on Facebook?  You’re thinking perhaps, he’ll go away if you ignore him?  Not a chance!  That sucker is here to stay until you muster up the courage to take action.

Why do we procrastinate?  Fear.

The question is, “How do we conquer fear?”  We should take a deep breath, dive in with both feet and be done with it.  The problem is we are not always prepared to do so.  Something is holding us back.

Let me share a process I use to prod myself into doing battle with my unwanted office mate.  I ask myself what is the worst thing that could happen if I take action?  This starts to diminish my apprehension because I am sure the absolute worst will not happen.

Once I feel calmer, I usually come up with a plan and then try a dry run.  If it’s a big frog, the solution might involve phoning a friend to serve as a sounding board or to ask for help in brainstorming.

Another excellent tactic is to visualize the reward.  I imagine how happy I will be once I deal with the issue.  Just think, I can get on with my day and accomplish some action items that lead up to realizing my dreams.  Now, that’s more like it!

I often remind myself of something one of my mentors preached… “Even a turtle does not get ahead unless she sticks her neck out.”  This saying helps me feel even more confident.  Surely I have more fortitude than a turtle!

The crowning glory is conjuring up another illustrious pearl of wisdom I gleaned from a very wise man, “Beginning is half done!”   There now, that’s the ticket.  I’m back to the Nike philosophy, but this time with courage and conviction!  I’m going for it!

Once the deed is done, it sometimes turns out like the fairy tale.  You know the one where you kiss the frog and he turns into a handsome prince.  Yes, often times dealing with Sir Froggy brings unimagined benefits.

The moral of the story?  Find a way to kiss that frog and you may live happily ever after!  If not, at least you now have your office all to yourself.